The 45 Worst or Best Futurist Jokes of 2022

To save you the time of reading through large numbers of good jokes about the future in order to find the bad ones, I have done it for you. However, after some more thought and depending on your sense of humor, the worst might also be the best.  Enjoy!

1. I am working on a few jokes about the future of humans in the workforce, but none of them seem to work.
2. Country music bands are already singing about how their autonomous self driving pickup trucks will leave them in the future.
3. I recently advised a CEO to fire all employees who were mimes, and then to replace them with people who could think outside the box.
4. The past, the present and the future walk into a bar - just not, of course, at the same time.
5. Meanwhile in agriculture, the new trend is for farmers to feed cannabis to beef cows - it’s risky, but potentially lucrative and the steaks are high.
6. How many futurist does it take to change a light bulb?  It depends on the scenario.
7. This year’s report on the future of the textile industry finds the adoption of robotics and artificial intelligence looming.
8. Why have generations of futurists been so interested in studying immortality?  It just never gets old.
9. I was looking forward to what the future would bring, but as it turns out Amazon already delivered it.
10. Since the future goes on for infinity, universities have decided not to offer it any longer.  
11. The future is only a step away from the present.  So watch your Christmas gifts closely.
12. The future is in agriculture said a young college graduate, but I can’t decide which field to go into.
13. What does a procrastinator and a futurist have in common?  They both will study tomorrow.  
14.  Futurists and people with obnoxious neighbors both like a good hedge.
15. 
    I read a report on the future of anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down.
16. Futurists forecast that despite the higher cost of living, it will remain popular.
17. I went to a futurist conference today and the sign on the door said come back tomorrow.
18. A futurist made a bold prediction about the future of dogs in the workplace, but he worried it would come back to bite him.
19. “Where’s the best place to invest in the future of eldercare?” A businessman asked.  “Depends,” answered the Futurist.
20. The future of mind control is not what you think.  It’s what I think.  Repeat after me…
21.  I am using a bunch of different data sources to research the future of plumbing, but none of it seems to be in sink.
22. I was going to write a report on the future of carpentry, but I’m no sure it woodwork.
23. A nostalgic futurist can’t wait for the past to get here.
    
24. In the future robots are anticipated to suffer from isolation and loneliness as a result of singularity.
25. I’m not worried that robots will take over all of our jobs said the futurist.  That’s for a different robot to worry about.
26. What do you call a robot who becomes an evangelist?  An electrical converter.
27. What happens when a robot explodes?  They rest in pieces.
28. What does a futurist call falling down on the job?  A business trip.
29. I have been forecasting rapid growth in the drone industry for a decade, but it just never seems to take off.
30. I was writing a case study about a futuristic company in the paper industry, but it folded.
31. I was working on a report about the future of glass, but its findings weren’t clear. 
32. What do you call a company that bleeds cash?  Theranos 
33. How strong does a whiskey have to be to last generations?  Future proof.
34. The most popular means of getting from point A to point B among Silicon Valley startups is via a hype cycle.

35. 

    Have you herd the moos?

    Three unmanned self-driving cars met in a parking lot.  The lead car says, “Next, we remove the women and children.”
36. Father Time and Mother Nature met with a marriage counselor to discuss their evolving relationship.
37. The phrase, “Live like there’s no tomorrow,” sounds like, “You’re unemployed,” to a futurists.
38. When asked about the future of glass coffins, the futurist answered it remains to be seen.
39. A Digital Twin might look like you, but it comes from a different motherboard.
40. Stop worrying about the future! Nobody has ever died there.  
    
41. A futurists’ annual predictions go in one year and out the other.
42. When a futurist forecasted the end of air conditioners, thousands of fans applauded.
43. The future of the TV remote controller is in question after it once again went missing.
44. Beef cows should be more involved in making important decisions about their future.  They are literally steak-holders.
45. The future of frisbees looks dire, but boomerangs are making a comeback.

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Kevin Benedict

Futurist at TCS

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***Full Disclosure: These are my personal opinions. No company is silly enough to claim them. I work with and have worked with many of the companies mentioned in my articles.