To save you the time of reading through large numbers of good jokes about the future in order to find the bad ones, I have done it for you. However, after some more thought and depending on your sense of humor, the worst might also be the best. Enjoy!
- I am working on a few jokes about the future of humans in the workforce, but none of them seem to work.
- Country music bands are already singing about how their autonomous self driving pickup trucks will leave them in the future.
- I recently advised a CEO to fire all employees who were mimes, and then to replace them with people who could think outside the box.
- The past, the present and the future walk into a bar - just not, of course, at the same time.
- Meanwhile in agriculture, the new trend is for farmers to feed cannabis to beef cows - it’s risky, but potentially lucrative and the steaks are high.
- How many futurist does it take to change a light bulb? It depends on the scenario.
- This year’s report on the future of the textile industry finds the adoption of robotics and artificial intelligence looming.
- Why have generations of futurists been so interested in studying immortality? It just never gets old.
- I was looking forward to what the future would bring, but as it turns out Amazon already delivered it.
- Since the future goes on for infinity, universities have decided not to offer it any longer.
- The future is only a step away from the present. So watch your Christmas gifts closely.
- The future is in agriculture said a young college graduate, but I can’t decide which field to go into.
- What does a procrastinator and a futurist have in common? They both will study tomorrow.
- Futurists and people with obnoxious neighbors both like a good hedge.
- I read a report on the future of anti-gravity, it’s impossible to put down.
- Futurists forecast that despite the higher cost of living, it will remain popular.
- I went to a futurist conference today and the sign on the door said come back tomorrow.
- A futurist made a bold prediction about the future of dogs in the workplace, but he worried it would come back to bite him.
- “Where’s the best place to invest in the future of eldercare?” A businessman asked. “Depends,” answered the Futurist.
- The future of mind control is not what you think. It’s what I think. Repeat after me…
- I am using a bunch of different data sources to research the future of plumbing, but none of it seems to be in sink.
- I was going to write a report on the future of carpentry, but I’m no sure it woodwork.
- A nostalgic futurist can’t wait for the past to get here.
- In the future robots are anticipated to suffer from isolation and loneliness as a result of singularity.
- I’m not worried that robots will take over all of our jobs said the futurist. That’s for a different robot to worry about.
- What do you call a robot who becomes an evangelist? An electrical converter.
- What happens when a robot explodes? They rest in pieces.
- What does a futurist call falling down on the job? A business trip.
- I have been forecasting rapid growth in the drone industry for a decade, but it just never seems to take off.
- I was writing a case study about a futuristic company in the paper industry, but it folded.
- I was working on a report about the future of glass, but its findings weren’t clear.
- What do you call a company that bleeds cash? Theranos
- How strong does a whiskey have to be to last generations? Future proof.
- The most popular means of getting from point A to point B among Silicon Valley startups is via a hype cycle.
Three unmanned self-driving cars met in a parking lot. The lead car says, “Next, we remove the women and children.”Have you herd the moos? - Father Time and Mother Nature met with a marriage counselor to discuss their evolving relationship.
- The phrase, “Live like there’s no tomorrow,” sounds like, “You’re unemployed,” to a futurists.
- When asked about the future of glass coffins, the futurist answered it remains to be seen.
- A Digital Twin might look like you, but it comes from a different motherboard.
- Stop worrying about the future! Nobody has ever died there.
- A futurists’ annual predictions go in one year and out the other.
- When a futurist forecasted the end of air conditioners, thousands of fans applauded.
- The future of the TV remote controller is in question after it once again went missing.
- Beef cows should be more involved in making important decisions about their future. They are literally steak-holders.
- The future of frisbees looks dire, but boomerangs are making a comeback.
Kevin Benedict
Futurist at TCS
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***Full Disclosure: These are my personal opinions. No company is silly enough to claim them. I work with and have worked with many of the companies mentioned in my articles.